I've been going out a lot lately. It's either hang out lang sa park just to talk with friends or walk around the streets here in London. I enjoy every moment although we don't really do much at all but talk and make kwentos. :') Amazing how happy I am just being with them. Somehow, I forget all my problems.. You know, the pressure of life.

But no matter how nice my day went yesterday, still couldn't hide the fact that I'm hurting deep inside. And recognizing that pain and not pretending, helps. I must admit that I have still kept on hiding it last night cos I don't know, I guess I'm just too afraid. And arggh, I really didn't care.. I was just numb.

I love you. And my gaaahd, my oh-so-gawd, good thing you already know that. Godd thing you're not being insenstive anymore and you're actually asking me how I really am, what I really feel.. And I so appreciate that cos it means a looot to me knowing that you care, somehow. Well, I guess we're bestfriends now. Funny how that just happened. At least, I got you. Cos I guess, we really are better off as friends. But it would really be hard being your bestfriend cos whenever you share stuff about the person you like, it kills me inside. But I'm okay with it. I'm totely okay with it cos it's nice that we're friends, that we're in that kind of stage. :')

Sooooo thank you.. sa paggawa ng way para we could be okay.

Hay hay, I'm gon get there.

kung bakit pagod na pagod ako. Like sobrang drained. Inaantok pa ako, jusko kumusta naman may exam pa ako in 30 minutes. Eh hindi talaga ako nag-aral. As in, bigtime na hindi. Nakakaloka. 'Yung feeling na wala akong pakialam kung bumagsak man ako or whatever. Gusto ko lang humiga at matulooog buong araw. O kaya lumabas na lang, tinatamad ako talagang pumasok. Wala ako sa mood kagabi paa. Grabe. I'm gon go crazy na. Shucks.

If wala lang akong exam hindi na ako pumasok. Haha. Kung tinext lang ako ng maaga ni Auggie eh humang-out na lang ako. Shiiit, wala talaga akong energy. I'm not bothered talaga. Wala talagang pakialam. Nagpapakamanhid na. Yay, katakot.. Pero kinakabahan ako sa exam ko.. Ay actually, hindi talaga.. Wala, steady lang.

Bumili nga ako ng donut eh. Nagastusan pa ako. Akala ko kasi eh, I'd feel better pagkatapos kong kumain ng donut nga pero hindi pala. WAAAH, ano ba 'tong nangyayari sa akin. Pucha, first time talaga 'to. Walang drive gumawa ng kahit ano.

Ewan, bahala na.
 
Sa Wednesday, iinom talaga kami ulit. Gusto ko uminom. Parang kailangan ko na talagang ma-vent out ang emotions ko kundi magkaka-cancer ako. Ganon daw 'yun eh. Hay. Bukas naman ang dami ko kailangang gawin. Parang pupunta pa ata akong Roehampton para lang mapa-sign 'yung card. Manghahagilap pa ako ng tao. Papasama na lang ako kay Auggie.

Nawawalan na ng gana,

Dutzy

Saw something ain't nice. I mean, I actually don't know what to feel or whatsoever. Feels different pala when you are actually the one who witnessed it. So stupid, really. But what else can I do? I shouldn't be feeling this way nga eh. Like, what's the fuhlippin' poiiint? Arrrgh, hate it. SHOULDN'T BE AFFECTED ALREADY. Oh Dutzy, you are soooooo foooolisssssh! Oh well, I'm lamang naman eh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. SO baaad.

Anyway, I'm BLAH na tuloy. Well, hangout with Sisturr Auggie sa park. Kind of heart to heart talk. HAHAHAHAHA. :') T'was great though like yeaaah, confusion and stuff. And tomorrow we're gon get high. Drink up some whiskey and get druuuunk. As in helluva druuunk, don't really give a shiiit. HAHAHAHAHA. Just to release the oh-so negative viiibes. Stupid. HAHAHAHA.

I so regret a looot of things. I've been so stupid. As in. Grabe. HEAVY. DI KO CARRY. I don't think. I DON'T REALLY THINK. And blaaaah. BLAAAAAH. HAHAHAHA. Whatever.